We all know the weight of anger and resentment, how it can become a shield we clutch tightly to our chests. While forgiveness is often touted as the cure for being wronged, the act itself remains elusive. Simply being told to forgive or even wanting to forgive rarely leads to true release. Instead, we often bury our feelings or distract ourselves until time dulls the pain. For years, forgiveness has been a mystery to me, appearing spontaneously rather than by conscious effort. But what does forgiveness truly feel like in our bodies and minds? How can we access it when justified anger burns hot within us? This is the story of my unexpected journey from rage to release, sparked by a winter accident that became an unlikely teacher.
When Someone Else Is to Blame
Most of my life’s troubles have come from my own mistakes—acting hastily or being misled by my own ignorance. In these cases, forgiveness has been an on-going process of self-acceptance. But this spring, I encountered a different situation entirely.
While skiing, I was struck from behind by another skier. The collision wasn’t my fault—he was skiing too fast for the conditions and following too closely. Upon impact, not only was I physically injured, but I was stunned by his immediate reaction: he blamed me. No apology. No acknowledgment of responsibility. Just deflection and denial as I sat there in growing pain. I was angry, really angry.
The Physical and Emotional Aftermath
The soft tissue damage changed my daily life immediately. Simple movements became challenges. Yoga and meditation—practices I’d always turned to for peace—became sources of sharp, radiating pain. As the acute physical pain gradually subsided, I noticed anger had intensified into rage.
The collision replayed in my mind like a relentless film reel. In these mental reruns, I unleashed my fury, condemning his negligence and recklessness. A loop of anger consumed me, invading every moment—from family lunches to phone calls with my husband, even the most mundane tasks. Frustration mounted as I found myself locked in an endless argument with a phantom opponent, internally shouting about an incident now past. This invisible battle drained my energy and clouded my days with unresolved rage.
What struck me most was my dual awareness: I was both feeling the anger and witnessing myself feeling it. During meditation especially, I could observe the tightness, the constriction, the sheer energy being diverted to maintaining this rage. A desire emerged—to be free of this exhausting emotional state.
The Moment of Release
It happened during meditation. I made a conscious decision to take a break from anger—not to suppress it, but to momentarily set it aside. As I relaxed into this choice, I became aware of unnecessary tension in my injured left shoulder. With each exhale, I released some of this tension, and remarkably, the pain diminished.
The revelation was immediate and profound: forgiveness—the simple act of pausing my anger—created physical relief. My breath became a healing tool. The difference was tangible, not just emotionally but in my injured body.
The Ongoing Practice of Forgiveness
This wasn’t a one-time miracle cure. Anger and rage still surfaced in the days that followed. But something had fundamentally changed in my relationship with these emotions. I learned how to internally take a break from them in my mind and in my body. I had discovered that forgiveness isn’t just an abstract spiritual concept—it’s also a mental and physical experience with measurable benefits.
With consistent morning meditation practice, I am learning to create space for the difficult emotions when they arise and also how to set them aside for a pause. Rather than fighting them or identifying with them completely, I acknowledged their presence. Interestingly, telling myself that it’s ok to feel angry and frustrated, fostered the first sigh of relief. By allowing these feelings to exist without judgment, they naturally resolve and fade, and as anger is set aside, I experience forgiveness.
What Forgiveness Truly Feels Like
So what does forgiveness feel like? For me, it feels like:
A physical softening, a release of tension I didn’t even know I was holding
Taking a full breath after hours of shallow breathing
Reclaiming energy that was being consumed by maintaining anger
Creating space where before there was constriction
A gentle return to myself
Forgiveness isn’t the absence of justified anger—it’s the conscious choice not to let that anger define your physical and emotional reality in any present moment. It’s recognizing that holding onto rage hurts you more than the person who wronged you.
The skiing incident changed me in ways I never anticipated. Through physical injury, I discovered the embodied nature of forgiveness. What began as a painful encounter became a powerful teacher.
I’m not grateful for being injured, but I am grateful for what it taught me: forgiveness is not just something we do for others—it’s something we do for ourselves. It’s not merely an emotional or spiritual practice but a physical one with tangible benefits for healing and well-being.
The next time you find yourself caught in the grip of justifiable anger, perhaps pause and notice: Where are you holding tension? How is your breathing affected? What might change if you temporarily set down that anger, even for a moment? The answers might surprise you, as they did me.